<h1>叁拾壹、蝉鸣</h1>
??荏???南???没???有???实???现???她???的???计???划???,???黎???明???之???前???,???她???悄???悄???起???身???走???了???,???回???了???自???己???的???房???间???。
??她???的???脑???中???一???片???混???乱???,???情???感???更???是???一???团???糟???,???她???幸???福???也???痛???苦???,???终???于???意???识???到???了???一???切???并???不???如???她???所???想???,???童???话???里???只???要???两???个???人???互???相???说???我???爱???你???就???可???以???到???团???圆???大???结???局???了???,???但???真???实???的???世???界???并???不???是???这???样???运???转???的???。
??大???哥???是???爱???她???的???,???很???爱???她???的???,???可???为???什???么???要???拒???绝???她???,???为???什???么???只???在???醉???后???的???梦???中???才???肯???承???认???这???份???爱???????荏???南???原???来???想???得???太???简???单???,???觉???得???让???他???承???认???对???她???的???渴???求???,???只???要???身???体???厮???磨???,???便???能???终???成???眷???属???。???但???如???今???看???来???,???好???像???并???非???如???此???。
??荏???南???将???自???己???埋???进???被???子???里???,???蜷???成???小???小???一???团???,???被???子???便???是???她???的???抵???抗???和???防???御???。???她???握???成???拳???头???填???进???自???己???心???口???,???权???当???作???安???慰???和???鼓???劲???,???她???不???怕???,???她???会???找???出???原???因???的???,???她???会???心???甘???情???愿???地???让???大???哥???承???认???对???她???的???爱???,???心???甘???情???愿???地???和???她???在???一???起???一???辈???子???,???再???也???不???分???开???。
??她???在???床???上???赖???了???很???久???,???才???慢???慢???起???身???去???洗???漱???,???进???了???浴???室???才???发???现???眼???睛???已???经???全???哭???肿???了???,???眼???皮???上???飞???着???红???,???连???鼻???头???都???是???红???的???,???泼???了???多???少???冰???水???也???没???一???点???用???,???这???副???样???子???能???瞒???得???住???谁???,???荏???南???用???shi???淋???淋???的???手???往???镜???子???上???一???擦???,???留???下???满???目???水???痕???蜿???蜒???,???掩???住???镜???中???狼???狈???的???自???己???,???她???和???大???哥???,???不???过???都???是???自???欺???欺???人???。
??等???她???下???楼???时???,???大???哥???果???然???已???经???没???了???人???影???,???这???个???点???早???过???了???他???上???班???时???间???了???,???但???进???了???餐???厅???发???现???桌???上???摆???了???还???冒???着???热???气???的???豆???浆???,???张???妈???一???边???添???了???热???乎???乎???的???包???子???和???